Top 5 songs about spreadable comestibles

Beats International – Dub Be Good to Me (1990)
Tank, fly, boss, walk
Jam nitty gritty
You’re list’nin’ to the boy from the big bad city
This is jam hot
Jam hot

Like a Pop Tart.

Patti Labelle – Lady Marmalade (1975)
He met Marmalade down in Old New Orleans
Struttin’ her stuff on the street

Another type of tart, albeit more bitter and less likely to fit in your toaster.

Transvision Vamp – I Want Your Love (1989)
I don’t want your money, honey
I want your love

Oh yes. And then you’ll move in and start contributing to the mortgage and before I know it you’ll own 50 per cent of the house. Forget it. I’d be better off with Lady Marmalade. At least I know where I stand with her (etc).

Bruce Springsteen – Streets of Philadelphia (1994)
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wasting away
On the streets of Philadelphia?

A great songwirter, Bruce, but a terrible town planner. Just try driving on that kind of surface. No traction.

Gold – Spandau Ballet (1983)
Gold (gold)
Always believe in your soul.
You’ve got the power to know
you’re indestructible

But spreadable. Ah, St Ivel, the patron saint of marge and, apparently, nothing else. Surely he wasn’t made up by the dairy product industry?

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