Ice, ice, baby

 

Why are so many items on American news programmes presented as riddles?
viz: “It’s clear, costly in restaurants, and without it you’ll die. Yes, it’s water…”

In any case, here is a photograph I took of water looking beautiful in the form of a frozen stream in the Lake District. I expect my shares in new age crystal shops to soar as you all rush out and buy fractal posters.

(click to enlarge)

Top 5 Saudi hits

Bob Marley – I Shot the Sheriff
I shot the sheriff And, according to this confession I've just signed, I also shot the deputy

Bob Dylan – Everybody Must Get Stoned
Everybody must get stoned
Especially if they're women guilty of adultery

The Clash – I Fought the Pernicious State Security Apparatus
I fought the pernicious state security apparatus
And, in the absence of my defence lawyer, the pernicious state security apparatus won

Ian Dury and the Blockheads – Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick
Hit me with your rhythm stick
Because I'm a teenager who has just attempted to talk to a woman in public

Wham! – Freedom
I don't want your freedom
Unless you've taken part in peaceful protest demonstrations

PS: It has been put to me that this post is racist. I argue that it is not. It is political satire, and it is no bad thing to mock Saudi Arabia for having a morally-repugnant regime.

Even if you believe in cultural relativity (a belief system in which female circumcision is morally valid in some African states and the Holocaust was justified in Nazi Germany) it is perverse to argue that presumption of guilt is a fairer system of justice in any society (apart from one in which citizens are inherently criminal, I suppose).