27 per cent of James Bond’s sexual partners die.
Are you considering having sex with James Bond? Think!
More than one in four of Bond’s sexual partners die within days or even hours. A sexual act with this man is almost 100 times more dangerous than having sex with someone with HIV.
No clinical link has been made between Bond and the deaths, but statistics show that of Bond’s 48 recorded lovers, 13 have met a grisly end.
Symptoms may include:
- shortness of breath after being painted with gold
- a tingling sensation while transporting a bomb on a mine cart
- stabbing pains during a savaging by dogs
- nausea in anticipation of being run over by a beach buggy, and
- haemorrhaging caused by contact with a Japanese man’s hat.
Medical opinion is divided on effective preventative measures, but evidence suggests that having a name that sounds like a euphemism for being a bit of a goer affords some protection. In Bond’s first four missions, Jill Masterson and Fiona Volpe suffered fatal accidents, while Honey Ryder, Sylvia Trench, Tatiana Romanova and Pussy Galore pulled through.