Bum note

I don’t know where Frank Sinatra lived in the 1950s, but the homeless have evidently changed since he recorded Lady is a Tramp. Here is an updated version:

She wears stained trousers, held up with string
She earns her money by waving a tin
She spends the proceeds on lager and gin
That’s why the lady is a tramp

She has a penchant for polythene bags,
Bags on wheels, the butt end of fags,
Super Strongbow, the phrase “effing slags”
That’s why they lady is a tramp

She’s got addictions to bennies and smack,
Mental illness and panic attacks,
Domestic violence scars on her back
That’s why the lady is a tramp

A note for any non-British readers: fags, in this sense, is slang for cigarettes and not, as you might have thought, a derogatory word for homosexuals.

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