Top 5 sectarian chants

The problem with sectarian chants at football matches is that they don’t make much effort to pinpoint the differences between Catholicism and Protestantism. When Glasgow Rangers fans taunt Glasgow Celtic fans by singing “Have you had your chicken supper, Bobby Sands?” in reference to the death, 26 years ago, of the hunger-striking MP for Fermanagh & South Tyrone, they seem to have lost the idea altogether. Chanting about a political event in the early 1980s that was part of a distant and dormant conflict is no way to cheer on your team.

Here are five suggestions that put the schism back into the stands:

1. You’re not transubstantiating any more

2. The referee’s not infallible

3. You only make church sacraments when you’re winning

4. Hate the idea of women conducting the Eucharist, oh we hate the idea of women conducting the Eucharist

5. There’s only one apostolic succession (Yes, there’s only one apostolic succession etc)

11 Responses to “Top 5 sectarian chants”

  1. Tom L Says:

    6. John Calvin, yer havin’ a laff! John Calvin, yer havin’ a laff!

  2. pouletnoir Says:

    7. You’re going to purgatory on a horde of angels

  3. Tom L Says:

    [to the tune of that Lou Bega song… ]

    A little bit of Calvin in our lives,
    a little bit of Zwingli down the the sides,
    a little bit of Melancthon’s what we need,
    a little bit of Cramner with his speed,
    a little bit of Knox in defence,
    a little bit of Luther he’s immense,
    a little bit of singin! from the fans,
    a little bit of Jesus he’s our man ….yeeeeeeeeeeaahhh!

    [dadada da DAAAAAA da da da da dididid da DAAAAAAA da da … etc]

  4. Mr. X Says:

    9. Who’s the product of a virgin birth in the black?

    10. It’s all gone agnostic over there, it’s all gone agnostic oveeer there..

  5. Tom L Says:

    11. Pope, Pope, Pope shagger… Pope, Pope, Pope shagger! (inspired by Neil “arsehole” “razor” Ruddock, who I believe is a player of football).

  6. rivergirlie Says:

    who ate all the hosts? who ate all the hosts?

    (i’m going to hell)

  7. rivergirlie Says:

    oh it’s all gone ecumenical over there …

  8. Mr. X Says:

    There’s more noise in the Vatican library, more noise in the Vatican library…

    You should have come in a Popemobile…

  9. Mr P. Says:

    There’s only two church of scotlands

  10. jacko Says:

    2 gerry adams theres only 2 gerry adams.

  11. Johnny the Tim Says:

    We are too holy for you,
    we are to holy for you,
    to holy, yes we are

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