Archive for April, 2007

Open letter to Tone Loc

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Money is a bit tight at the moment, so I was delighted to discover that I could save on postage by writing open letters, cutting out the Post Office and their infernal “stamps” altogether.

Dear Tone Loc,

In your song Funky Cold Medina, you say: “This is the Eighties, and I’m down with the ladies.”

Do you mean to say:

a) You were uncertain about your sexuality in the 1970s, but found that any gay leanings were quashed as a by-product of Thatcherism and Reaganomics;

b) You had a newfound sympathy with feminist issues in the 1980s but recognised that you would become a reactionary in the 1990s with the advent of lad magazines such as Loaded and FHM?

Hope this reaches you safely.

Yours sincerely,

Le Poulet Noir

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Blinding wit

Friday, April 6, 2007

“The RNIB [Royal National Insitute of the Blind] takes a rather dim view of that,” I said to my friend M.

He said: “The RNIB takes a dim view of everything.”