Archive for April, 2007

Open letter to Tone Loc

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Money is a bit tight at the moment, so I was delighted to discover that I could save on postage by writing open letters, cutting out the Post Office and their infernal “stamps” altogether.

Dear Tone Loc,

In your song Funky Cold Medina, you say: “This is the Eighties, and I’m down with the ladies.”

Do you mean to say:

a) You were uncertain about your sexuality in the 1970s, but found that any gay leanings were quashed as a by-product of Thatcherism and Reaganomics;

b) You had a newfound sympathy with feminist issues in the 1980s but recognised that you would become a reactionary in the 1990s with the advent of lad magazines such as Loaded and FHM?

Hope this reaches you safely.

Yours sincerely,

Le Poulet Noir

Blinding wit

Friday, April 6, 2007

“The RNIB [Royal National Insitute of the Blind] takes a rather dim view of that,” I said to my friend M.

He said: “The RNIB takes a dim view of everything.”