Facebook and children

Do Facebook and children mix?

My friend L changed her status on Facebook to say that she was happy. Not a seismic event, to be sure, but gaily informative. A friend of hers, called Patricia, then commented:

Luca always says “happy mummmeeeee”

Is Luca, I wondered, a child or an imbecile?

On balance, I reckon Patricia is probably referring to her son, but it doesn’t really matter. The comment is still imbecilic. Why do parents think other people are interested in their children’s insights on life?

I’m not saying all children’s remarks are unamusing. I overheard a mother telling a boy on a train that he had to mind the gap between the train and the platform or else there would be big trouble. “Will we go to prison?” he replied, earnestly. “Yes,” she said.

I’ve got nephews who say witty, or apparently witty things on a regular basis.

But “happy mummmeeeee”? Passez le sac malade, as they may say in France. It’s almost as bad as posting a photograph of your child in lieu of a picture of yourself on Facebook, as another friend of a friend did with this:

Jesus, that’s an ugly baby.*

*I’m not entirely sure why I’ve attempted to disguise this baby’s identity. It’s not as if anyone would ever identify him even without the black stripe. Nor, indeed, is the disguise likely to mollify the parents in the unlikely event that they ever chance across this blog. Still, it does at least remove the horror of its mad, staring eyes, even if the parents’ choice of a “Santa’s little helper” outfit remains uncensored.

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