Archive for the ‘One-liners’ Category

One-liner (needs work)

Monday, February 27, 2012

A conference on mannequins? Ugh. Talk about the objectification of women.

Failed business ideas, number one in an occasional series

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Amish iPhone Store

Two monks walk into a bar

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Two monks walk into a Dostoevsky-themed bar and order drinks. “I’ll have a Karamat,” says one.
“I’ll have a Karamat, too,” says the other.
The barman frowns apologetically. “Sorry brothers, Karamat’s off.”

Paragraph of the year

Thursday, December 30, 2010

An  acquaintance of mine, T, works for The Times. His job is to vet articles before they go into the paper and weed out howlers. His favourite paragraph of 2010 was this, which speaks for itself:

“He was unique. There will never be another Kenneth McKellar,” said the late singer’s son, Kenneth.

Rules for life. Number three in an occasional series

Sunday, September 6, 2009

There is no need to take seriously any country that has a fish* on its currency.



Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ornithology is for amateurs.


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

rhubarb fool image taken by Pod Chef and used under Creative Commons licence with share-alike clauseQ: What does an emotional B A Baracas say whenever he sees a rhubarb-based dessert?

A: I pity the fool.

Rules for life. Number two in an occasional series

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Take care to walk through the correct door in a crematorium.

Minimalist joke

Friday, February 8, 2008


Bad joke

Friday, December 7, 2007

I want to open a restaurant that serves only a certain type of fish. It would be called “Wholly Mackerel”.