One-liner (needs work)

A conference on mannequins? Ugh. Talk about the objectification of women.

Failed business ideas, number one in an occasional series

The Amish iPhone Store

Two monks walk into a bar

Two monks walk into a Dostoevsky-themed bar and order drinks. “I’ll have a Karamat,” says one.
“I’ll have a Karamat, too,” says the other.
The barman frowns apologetically. “Sorry brothers, Karamat’s off.”

Paragraph of the year

An  acquaintance of mine, T, works for The Times. His job is to vet articles before they go into the paper and weed out howlers. His favourite paragraph of 2010 was this, which speaks for itself:

“He was unique. There will never be another Kenneth McKellar,” said the late singer’s son, Kenneth.

Rules for life. Number three in an occasional series

There is no need to take seriously any country that has a fish* on its currency.

One-liner

Ornithology is for amateurs.

Joke

Q: What does an emotional B A Baracas say whenever he sees a rhubarb-based dessert?

A: I pity the fool.

Rules for life. Number two in an occasional series

Take care to walk through the correct door in a crematorium.

Minimalist joke

What?

Bad joke

I want to open a restaurant that serves only a certain type of fish. It would be called “Wholly Mackerel”.