Archive for the ‘One-liners’ Category

Pet hate

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I hate Satanists, principally because of the way their sacrificial rituals intimidate my menagerie of farmyard animals. They really get my goat.

Dog collar

Friday, July 20, 2007

My friend J, a son of a priest, said to me:

A dogma is for life, not just for Christmas.

Gordon Brown, PM

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is Prime Minister.

Blinding wit

Friday, April 6, 2007

“The RNIB [Royal National Insitute of the Blind] takes a rather dim view of that,” I said to my friend M.

He said: “The RNIB takes a dim view of everything.”

A homily

Friday, January 12, 2007

In the land of euphemisms for male anatomy, the one-eyed man is king.

All along the watchtower

Thursday, January 4, 2007

I am not going to become a Jehovah’s Witness.

Not until I’m issued with Jehovah’s subpoena.

Stanley rubric

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

All exam questions are sweeping generalisations that contain a kernel of truth. Discuss.

Papal bull

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Seen in The Times, May 8, 2006:
“Pope Benedict XVI denounced careerism in the priesthood, which he defined as ‘an attempt to get to the top, to procure oneself a position through the Church, in order to serve oneself, not to serve [others]’.”

In Russia, according to James Bond, they have a saying for everything

Friday, September 30, 2005

In Russia we have saying: Potato.

Amin Emin

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I don’t like to scaremonger. It’s not responsible. Still, you can’t help but notice. Idi Amin and Tracey Emin. Never at the same parties, are they?

Amin Emin